You may recall from a few posts ago that the week of February 21st would come with some updates from Drew’s ortho doctors regarding plans or next steps to take in pursuit of reconstructive surgery for Drew’s legs.  Well, I’m sad to say that the week of February 21st has come and gone with no news even after a prodding reminder on Friday to the doctor’s office about the upcoming due date in two hours.  Sigh.

And, as if to add fuel to my frustration, Drew was absolutely devastated today to not be able to “walk” to school.  Lately, I’ve been indulging him by letting him “walk” to school, around the zoo, around stores, etc. because I can see it makes him so happy and I want him to feel as normal and independent as possible.  I love to see him happy.  But, this morning, he was not happy as despite my “spoiling” tendencies, I wouldn’t let him walk the sopping wet path to the car or school and back.  And, believe me, it was hard – both physically and emotionally – as he screeched, “wwwaaaaallk! waaaaaaalk!” while trying to squirm out of my arms.

It’s not as if he’s begging for a toy or asking for anything materialistic and superficial: he wants to walk – a task that seems so simple and inalienable to us.  I just can’t bring myself to think that he’s finally realizing that he’s different from the other kids at school thus the sparked interest in walking so much.  It’s heart-breaking looking at this kid so hurt that he can’t walk today with his teary eyes, pouted and quivering lip, and “puppy-dog” eyes.  It goes straight to the core of my being and it lingers all day long weighing my heart down with sadness and helplessness.

Sigh.  Well, hopefully tomorrow I’ll hear something.  Until then, I’m going to go pick Drew up from his babysitters, give him a big hug and spend all night catering to his every need.

To be continued…