I’m sitting here fuming and angrily pacing my house.  I figure I’ll go take a shower to calm down, but I’m so frustrated that I can’t do that.  I want to make a phone call and be extremely rude and intimidating so I figure I better get my aggression out before I’m unable to resist the temptation.

We are going on SEVEN weeks.  SEVEN.  Since starting the process to make new braces.  You may recall that we’ve experience quite the drama with Drew’s braces.  Since October, Drew has snapped…how many?…..four? metal bars which, of course, has a major impact rendering him unable to walk.   Remember when his last metal bar snapped two days before he and Daddy flew to Florida and we made an emergency appointment for a quick-fix?  They rushed to have a new bar put on so he could walk to get us through the trip and then we’d have completely new braces with new materials made that would be better suited for his weight and needs.  So, that’s what we did.  Immediately upon return from Florida, we were seen to have these new braces fit and it’s been seven weeks since this appointment.

Now, first, we are astonished that his current braces, still with the emergency bars put on, have lasted this long considering he was snapping metal bars once a month or less beforehand.  I recall upon getting the emergency bars begging Drew not to jump around or act in any way that could result in the bar snapping.  “They need to last until at least you return home from Kentucky so no unnecessary stress to the bars, OK?” I would say.  This was because we had no expectation the bars would last long.  So, it’s been seven weeks now and we’ve FAR exceeded the time limit in which we expected them to last so I’m literally anticipating a call from the school or my own witness at any given moment.  It’s inevitable.  The lit fuse has reached the gunpowder and we anxiously await the coming explosion.

This is not a good position to be in less than a week from Drew’s dance recital.  He has a dance recital this weekend and can you imagine if his bar were to break now?!? AAAAAaaaagh!!!

I called the orthotist at week four for an update and they were working on getting a form signed by Drew’s pediatrician for Medicaid coverage.  It had been faxed a couple of days prior, but they hadn’t heard back from them (the pediatrician) yet.  Typically, the process from appointment to receiving the new braces take 4-6 weeks so I wasn’t too concerned.   Finishing up the loose ends, it sounds like.

Next week, I call for an update: still waiting on the pediatrician.  To sign a form.  And fax it back.

So, this, the third week waiting on the form to be completed and signed by the pediatrician, I call the orthotist for another update.  Still.  Waiting. On. Form.

WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?!?

A damn form.  One simple section they forgot to complete.  ONE SECTION.  The orthotist has made multiple attempts to fax and refax and call for updates and request signed form over the period of three weeks and it has yet to be completed.

Why is this pediatrician’s office f**king with me?!?  It’s ONE DAMN SECTION of a form.  A form that you 90% completed, but just completely forgot this ONE SMALL SECTION.  JUST FILL IT OUT NOW.  How hard is it?!?  I just want to pull my hair out!!  OK, maybe it takes a week to fill the form out because you have a lot of patients and a lot of various requests.  But, you forgot a section so can you not pull that back to the top of the pile and just fill it out real quick?  And, the orthotist has faxed it and refaxed it three times.  They’ve called multiple times for an update.  Can you not just complete the damn form?  I mean, you can’t have marked that task as closed on your agenda because IT’S NOT CLOSED.  The issue is NOT RESOLVED.  Thus you should immediately return to it before starting a new task and COMPLETE IT?!?  Do you not understand that Drew cannot walk without his braces?  Can you comprehend this?  His braces are going to break any F**KING second and to hear that you are delaying this process by three weeks is absolutely infuriating!!!!

It’s one damn section! For the love of God, COMPLETE IT AND RETURN IT!!!

I called the pediatrician’s and left a fairly condescending, but less hateful-than-this-post, voicemail: “If there is anything I can to help, let me know.  I’m assuming since it’s one small form holding this process up by three weeks that it must be really extreme and labor-intensive so if there’s anything I can do to help you speed it along, I’d be glad to help!” All while holding the ultimate bitchy-smiley face.  I was really going for a “I’ll smile while I spit in your coffee” type of tone.  The orthotist said she planned on calling for another update today so hopefully our tag team strategy will work.  Otherwise, I will stalk them (the pediatrician) daily and I assure you, my tone will become less filtered each day.